Tuesday, May 5, 2009

WHAT am I ???

I have worn many hats in my fifty odd years of living, some cute, some useful, some actually rather boring. Many times I worn numerous hats all at once (Note: women are known for being able to multi-task). But now that I am retired, and have ALL THIS TIME to do WHATEVER I want...what hat do I want to wear?

I'm done with clothing alterations; did that for over 25 years. I'm very sorry that your new khakis, jeans and skirts all all "just a bit" too long/tight/big/short...take them to your local tailor as my shingle is no longer hanging over my door! Yes, I KNOW that it would only "take me a minute", and that it's SO expensive to have done (I acknowledge these facts as you also fill me in one the details of how long you had to stand in line to buy the latest ipod/computer/music CD gadget that cost you a day's pay. I SO understand how the world undermines the accomplishments of the small entrepreneur.

Knitting, crocheting, sewing? Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I have the world's largest stash of fabric (I've already won the award for accumulating the most before I die), and my yarn stash is quickly approaching it's tenth large Rubbermaid storage tub. I'm always on the hunt for new gadgets, old patterns (I love collecting true vintage patterns and booklets from the 30's thru the 50's; forget the 60's as I have tons of those patterns and lived thru that era of ugliness!

Lately I've also been collecting crochet hooks and knitting needles as well as whatever sewing and craft implements I can find at the thrift stores. I've even been lucky enough to have friends and former customers who call me with their castoffs - so far I've been gifted with a Bond knitting machine (new and still in the box) and an antique table loom. So you see, I have PLENTY of things to work with, I just haven't been able to figure out WHY I'm not doing anything with it!

Then, while searching the dictionary for a correct spelling, I found a list of newly added words. Remember when our teachers used to say "Ain't isn't a word...it's NOT in the dictionary!" Well, it is now (sorry, I don't know when it was added). Spam is there (not the kind you eat); road rage; do-rag, air quotes and, my favorite:

• prairie-dog •
Pronunciation: pre-ree-dawg
Part of Speech: Verb, intransitive
Meaning: To rubberneck over the wall of an office cubicle to see what a commotion is all about.

It almost makes me want to return to office work in order to participate!

But I digress. Lately I'm always digressing...getting off-topic...taking a tangent...

I found out what I really am. I found the word that, since leaving the work force two years ago, I have become:

a mouse potato

Doesn't it sound cute? Comfy? Incredibly intelligent?

Of course, the definition of a mouse potato (slang : a person who spends a great deal of time using a computer) leaves out the various breeds of the mouse potato, which are

1. the gamer (thankfully a six hour session of Luxor gave me a migraine which cured THAT tendency).

2. the forum chatter (no, that is NOT why my mom used to call me Chatty Cathy although I do have a Facebook account. No, I don't Twitter.)

3. the obsessive collector (in my case sewing patterns, crochet patterns, knitting patterns)

4. the information collector (guilty: genealogy is my vice)

... the list continues to mutate and breed.

Now, back to the question at hand. What am I/what do I want to be? Am I content being a mouse potato?

I'm a perpetual student, I love to learn new things, but I don't think I want to go back to school. My son, Joe, is graduating from Fontbonne College on Saturday; last week we went to the ceremony where he received his Honors cords and Kappa Kappa Gamma Pi cords (way to go, Joe!). Being on campus brought back memories of term papers, pop quizzes and mean teachers, upset stomachs, migraines and my tendency for perfectionism - not my scene anymore.

I think I'll aim to morph into a part-time mouse potato. I do enjoy my computer time, especially when I'm working on genealogy or collecting patterns online. But being a mouse potato and LOOKING like one are two entirely separate things! So...

I AM going to go to the gym every day, even if it's just to sit in the sauna.

I AM going to eliminate at least half...OK, for sure a third... of the Yahoo groups I subscribe to.

Except for the genealogy ones...

and the crochet groups...



I WILL DEFINITELY eliminate the scrap booking list I'm on.

Now, what will I do with all the extra time I'll have? Let's see, there's house cleaning to do, litter boxes to change, laundry, rooms that are screaming to be painted...


Anyone out there have any patterns, crafting paraphernalia, yarn, fabric (NO, NO MORE FABRIC CATHY!) they want to send to a new home? After all, now that I have so much more time...

1 comment:

bessiegirl1951 said...

I love your blog. Just retired myself thinking I could get to everything I've been wanting to do. Especially get my house clean. But this evil computer constantly calls to me, tempting me to ever more delightful places, luring me from productive and noble enterprises such as , sweeping up the mounds of dog hair in the corners of the room, dusting the 1 inch deep dust off of the furniture and making sure my husband of 37 years has clean underwear.